Health Forgiveness Love Gratitude
Why Am I here? How Do I Find My Purpose? Part 1 ARE YOU REALLY READY FOR THE ANSWER? Why am I here? What is my purpose? I am a good person. So what is holding me back from success? Why is it I read all these books, take all these courses, make all these changes, and yet I still am not happy? Why is there war? Why do people hurt each other? Why do people go hungry? Why can't we all just get along and help each other? What can I do to make a difference? Are you really ready for the answer? If not, maybe you should turn on the TV, grab a drink, watch a movie, read a book or whatever turns you on. And if you are ready ... Here we go …. Your purpose is to consciously choose to be joyful. All the time. There, I've said it. Now you know. You don't have to keep searching any more. That didn’t take long now did it? Yeah but what does that mean? It means that:
And all this changes whenever you choose. As does your purpose. I SHOULD BE RICHER, HEALTHIER, HAPPIER …. Yeah but .... This is not the life I should be living. I mean I should be richer, healthier, in a better job, a better relationship, happier etc. If that is 'now' your choice, then that can be what you now create. BUT HOW DO I DO THAT?
But I don't know what to do? That is not true. What you are not sure about, you can ask and find out. WHO DO I ASK?
In the end they all lead you to your purpose, which is always exactly what you are doing right now. Until you change that of course. Could you be more specific about where I start? Do you believe that:
No. How could that possibly be true? If you did believe it, how would your life be different? Well. Ok. Maybe I see what you mean. Are you saying that if I believe you about this, then:
I am saying that: THE REALITY YOU LIVE IS THE ONE YOU CREATE And the more you accept responsibility for your creation, the more your life is fulfilling and rewarding. Does that mean I will also be happier all the time? If you choose. AAGH! Give me a break. Is that what you want. Every experience you ever had led you right here. Is this a good place to be? If it takes me where I want to go. Good. Choose that now. Choose what? Where you want to go. Ok .... well, I’m not quite sure where that is exactly. Are you ready to begin? Yes. You know where you have been. Right? And you know what you like, or at least what you don’t like. Right? Yes. Now, imagine what your life would be like if you always had more than enough money and time and were so healthy that you literally shone like a beacon in the sky and no one ever tells you what to do and whatever you do, you feel not just happy, but joyful. But I don’t see how that will help me get where I want to be. Life is a process, not a result. You go through the process and you get the result. You don’t go through it to get the result although that happens anyway. So this is a process. You do it and things change. Let’s look at it this way. You read lots of books on how to change, right? Right. And you took some courses, right? Right. And you probably did some other things too, right? Right. And you did make some changes, right? Yeah but they didn’t last. And some of them didn’t turn out the way I wanted. You make two very good points.
Do I have that right? Yes. You are right that things don’t last. Not your body, not your house, not your choices, not your money, not your health … not anything. That, my friend, is the nature of reality. Things change. Always have. Always will. The good part is that you get to choose how they change. We’ll get to that part later. Your other point is that things don’t turn out the way you planned. Is that right? Yeah. Many times I think that if I do this or that, then I know what will happen but it doesn’t work out that way. Actually it did work out the way you planned. It’s just that you were not aware of all that you were planning. What? Are you telling me I planned for Mary to dump me. Or that I planned to get sick just before I went on vacation. Or I planned to get fired from the best job I ever had? Bullshit. You have really lost me now my friend. Stick with me and I will explain. Long ago, you made a lot of decisions about what your life was going to be like. You did not make these decisions consciously. In fact, many people would say it was not actually you who made these decisions. Who then?
Even while you were in the womb you heard things and even though you didn’t understand them, you were being programmed by them to react to the world in certain ways. And when you were a young child, you were told how to behave and you obeyed. And then when you rebelled, maybe around age 2, you were punished for not obeying and you learned to get through life by doing what others thought you should do. That’s quite a challenging habit to break don’t you think? I AM AN ADULT NOW AND I CAN DO WHAT I WANT Yeah, but I am an adult now and I can do what I want. Exactly. You can now do whatever you choose. Well not exactly whatever I choose. Exactly what you choose. As long as you are prepared to accept the consequences of what you choose. For example. If you choose to take something that does not belong to you, there is a natural consequence that you might be caught and imprisoned. Or that you get away with it and you could choose to be happy about that. Or you could choose to feel guilty about it if you were programmed to do so long ago. If we are not prepared to accept the consequences, then we may make a different choice. I can see that. But how about getting fired. I never made that choice. Yes you did. No way! Way. You loved that job didn’t you? Yeah. It was my dream job. I was never happier. I loved that job. But you took home the package of printer paper, didn’t you. Get a life. They could afford it. It’s not like they were going to miss it. And it’s not like I was stealing it. I mean everyone does it. Did you ever imagine you could get fired for taking it? Ok. So may be it was stealing but I was doing a great job. I worked over time without pay every night and most weekends. I had no personal life. Everything I did was for the company. Surely I deserved something a little extra. I mean they should not have fired me for that. I was really sorry. I offered to replace it and everything. Actually you were really sorry you got caught. And maybe sorry you got fired. Maybe. You knew before you took it that doing so could lead to your getting fired and you did it anyway. You made a decision, took a risk, the natural consequence of which was that you got fired. No real surprise there. The question you might want to ask yourself is why you took it, if on some level you knew that doing so could get you fired from your ‘dream job’. ARE YOU SAYING IT WAS MY FAULT? Are you saying it was my fault I got fired? Yes. Ok. Ok. I mean I was working day and night for those guys and I guess it was too much. I mean I get it. I don’t like it but I get how I wanted to get out of there but couldn’t quit. I needed the money. I loved the prestige. And now you have neither. I guess you didn’t need them after all. Either that or you didn’t believe you deserve them. Didn’t believe I deserved them? Are you nuts? No. Are you? No. Of course not. You created a situation that proved you did not deserve the great salary and the adulation that went with such a high profile job. It wasn’t even that you got greedy – you just followed your programming. Your unconscious programming told you that you did not deserve the job and told you to do what it would take to get fired. The result was inevitable. Are you saying I deliberately got fired? Yes. Ask yourself how it is that anyone could discover you taking such a small item. You had to practically throw it in their face. The very first day on the job they spent hours talking to you about how important integrity was to their business. And you knew the only way to get out of there was to demonstrate a lack of integrity. When you were two years old you took what you wanted. And you were punished. Now you took what you wanted and you got punished. The program you are running is the same. Well if that is true, and I am not sure it is, then it must be time for some radically new programming. It is if that is your choice. Ok then Sherlock. Tell me how I lost Mary then. Don’t tell me I deliberately got her to dump me. I waited all my life for her. I was totally and completely in love. I was infatuated beyond reason. I would have done anything for her. I did everything she ever asked. I mean what more could I have done for her? We were going to get married, have kids and spend our lives together happily ever after. There is no way I was ever going to sabotage that. It was her, who dumped me for no good reason. I was so good to her. She could not have asked for someone better than me. Actually she could and she did. Was she the one for you? Maybe. Were you the one for her? Obviously not. That happens sometimes. Did you sabotage your relationship with her? Are you kidding me? Absolutely not. You mean absolutely yes. No. I mean absolutely not. Let me explain. In the beginning you were infatuated. You graduated from there to what you called love. You did everything she asked. Except for one thing. She asked you to be yourself. You did not do that. But I wanted to please her. I did everything for her. That is not what she was asking you to do. I don’t understand. You will. You failed to recognize that her attraction to you was based on who you are, not on what you did for her. The more you did things for her, the less you expressed who you are. You became like her servant. She did not need that. Nor did she want it. In the end you lost her because you lost yourself. Oh my God. Oh my you. How about that vacation? I was all ready to go on this great cruise and I got the worst cold ever. It turned into pneumonia and I couldn’t go. How was that my choice? Did you pay for the trip with a credit card? Yes. What has that got to do with it? Did you have the money to pay for the trip when you booked it? No. but I was going to pay for it over time. Could you really afford the trip? Well. I mean I really needed to go. I needed that trip. I had worked hard. I was tired. I … You knew you could not afford it and you chose a way to get out of going. If you are so smart, how come you are here talking with me. I have been where you are. I know where you can go if you choose. I would like to help you get there. Where can I go if I choose? Where indeed. You mean like anywhere I choose right? Yes. So let’s get started. How Do I Find My Purpose? A dialogue in 9 parts Part 2 You are not broken and you do not need fixing Every decision that you ever made was the right one. Even if things did not turn out as you hoped or expected, the decision you made was absolutely correct. That's because you are a master creator. You created every circumstance and event in your life. Without exception. And if that is true, and it is, then you can recreate your life anew in any moment you choose. I think you lost me at hello. I mean get real. What the heck are you talking about. I created nothing. Oh sure I can see what you were getting at when you talked about how I got fired or lost my girlfriend, but really, it's more than a bit of a stretch to say that I created everything that has happened in my life so far. If you didn't create it, who did? Life did that's who. I mean life is obviously a random set of experiences that just happen. You know. Like shit happens. Life happens. It's short. It's sweet or crappy and then you die. That's it. But it is all random. End of story. It that were true, and it is not, what then would be the purpose of life. The purpose of life my friend is to survive, to go on, till we die. And then what. What are you going on about. Life ends when you do. That's it. Finis. It's over. It ends when it ends. There is no more. And even if there were and there really is reincarnation, you just do it again. There is no point. There is no purpose. There is no grand direction other than to exist. Finally we agree. We do. Yes. The purpose of life is to exist. Yeah but why. I mean why do we exist? What's the point of that? We choose to exist for whatever reason we choose. That's the point. Let's say to choose to be one of those. Ok. Pick one. Any one. Ok. I choose to be a farmer. Why do you choose that? What difference does it make. Tell me what led you to choose to be a farmer. Ok. So I choose to be a farmer because I like to be outdoors in nature. You could do that by taking a walk in the woods. Well ok so I choose to be a farmer because I like being in nature and I like working with the earth and I like creating crops and giving people food to eat that is good for them. And when you do that, does it make you feel good? Of course it does. Why else would I do it? So could we then say that your intention was to be a farmer? Right on Sherlock. When did you decide that? Well actually I didn't decide it. My dad was a farmer so what else was I supposed to do? Lots of farm kids leave the land and work in the city. Not me. I hate the city. So you choose the farm life over a city life. Yeah. So what is your point. My point is that you made choices and followed through on them in order to live the life you choose. Ok. So I made choices. How does that have anything to do with every choice I ever made being the right one. Are you happy being a farmer? Sometimes. And sometimes not. There are days when I don't know how I will have the strength to carry or and nights I worry about where I am going to get seed money for next season or whether it will rain enough or too much and I get very stressed worrying about that. Is there any part of what you just described that you did not know would happen before you chose to become a farmer? I never thought about most of it that's what you mean. I mean I guess if I had thought about it I would have to say there have not been a lot of surprises. Exactly. There you go again sounding all high and mighty. I have to tell you that if I had to do it all over gain I might have chosen differently. And you could. Could what? Choose to do it all over again. Differently or the same. You are really nuts. Do it all over again? Differently or the same? Oh I get it. You are telling me I get to make choices. All the time. Every time. Yeah but some times those choices do not make me happy. That does not mean you always choose to be happy. I think maybe it is time to get you a psychiatric examination. I have never chosen to be unhappy. And yet that has been the natural outcome of some of your choices, as we discussed in part 1 of this conversation. But that was because I didn't know how it was going to turn out. It was because you did know how it was likely to turn out and you chose to do it anyway. So let me get this straight. You are saying that I got what I asked for. That I made choices, even ones I knew would turn out badly, and it's all my fault. Exactly. Except instead of referring to it as your fault, I would say it was your responsibility. Why on earth would I make decisions that would make me unhappy. Because you are on earth. Not in heaven. You mean like I am human. And making bad choices is part of the human condition. Making choices is part of the human condition. We make them all the time. Even when we don't make choices, that too is a choice we have made. And whether we judge that choice to have turned out well or poorly, is also another choice we make. Are you one of those nuts who go around saying no matter what happens it's all for the best. You must be some kind of Pollyanna, always looking on the bright side no matter how crappy things are. I am when I choose to be. And so are you. So you are saying no matter how things turn out, I can choose to believe it was a good choice. If that is your choice. Well I don't believe that. That too is your choice. Look. A lot of my life has been pure crap. I mean I have had some terrible experiences. I have been beaten. I have been broke. My first wife left me. I lost my job. I got so sick I couldn't even work any more. Are you telling me to look on the bright side, because if you are, this conversation is over because you are insane. I am telling you that no matter what choice you made, no matter what the outcome was, it was your choice. And you can wallow in the consequences or you can learn from what you did and make another better choice or go on living with the choice you already made. Yeah but sometimes it seems impossible to make another choice. I mean who would hire me now? I am 57 years old and my belly keeps me from seeing my toes and I never got a university degree and blah blah blah - you get the idea. Do you know of anyone who is worse off than you or who had less training or who was older or sicker who managed to make successful choices. Yeah but they weren't me. Well, perhaps they were but we'll come to that in a later chapter. For now, if you can acknowledge that someone managed to do it, to get beyond seemingly insurmountable odds, then surely you can find a way to find out what they did and make it work for you. You make it sound easy. It all begins with a choice. A choice followed by action leads to results. Even a choice not followed by action leads to results although they may not be the results you would like. So what do you mean when you say in the title of this section that I am not broken and I do not need fixing? Every choice you ever made was made with your own positive intent. Even when I chose to make myself unhappy? Yes. And since you created your reality, you can recreate it anew. Yeah but reality is what is. So you say. Yeah I do say. How is it then that two people can experience the same event and describe it differently? How can two witnesses to the same event have very different versions of what took place? I don't know. Yes you do. They chose see what happened based on their individual perspectives and filters. Many of these filters are completely unconscious and result from childhood, and some would say, even from past life experiences. There you go again. How Do I Find My Purpose? A dialogue in 9 parts Part 3 The Past Does Not Equal the Future
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