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How Do I Deal With This Death?

Woody Allen said: "I'm not afraid of dying. I just don't want to be there when it happens."

Does death come to all? And if so, when? And if no one ever really dies, were they ever 'born'?

There are many people who believe that life never ends, that we live forever or return to live again through reincarnation. And there are those who believe that is complete nonsense. And there are those who simply do not know and who fear the unknown they call death.

And then there are those who say we were never born, we never die and everything we experience is just a dream, or at least it is not real - either it is a memory or an imagined future.

Every day we experience hundreds of thousands of deaths within our own bodies as cells die and are replaced by new cells. We do not focus our attention on these departed cells nor do we mourn their passing, even though they gave us life itself.

And yet we do mourn the passing of friends, family, pets and dear ones. And sometimes we mourn the loss of those we do not even know and have never met.

When it comes to death there are three things you can do:

1. delay it
2. deny it
3. accept it

Whichever you choose, it really does not matter. Death is the ultimate changer of matter. What once was is no more. What once was will be transformed either into dust or another life, two things which are not at all mutually exclusive or different.

But let's be very practical for a moment. How do you deal with the phenomenon we call death? Most people cry and feel sad. Others feel relief or perhaps even momentary joy if they consider the person who died an 'enemy'. How can we cope? We can read books or talk or sleep or choose other options. and yet, to be fully present with one's own grief, is the eventual choice we must all make. The longer we put this off, the longer our grieving will last.  

And every death, whoever, however, whenever, sees the transformation of a part of our very existence, of our very selves, for we are all one. As has been said, there is only one of us in the room, in the country, in the world, in existence.

What we wish upon another is what we wish upon ourselves.

When another dies, we too die.

If you would like help to understand and cope with your loss, or your body's pending death, please CONTACT ME at thejoyofchange@hotmail.com